'Amazing' opportunities in my spam box

For those of you who don't sign up for everything on the internet, you probably don't get very many emails telling you about AMAZING business opportunities and that you absolutely have to buy this awesome product. But unfortunately, I'm one of those people who sign up for random things on the internet, such as those websites that promise that they'd never sell or distribute your email address.

And I have to tell you - if you don't sign up for those absolutely awesome sites, then you're missing out! Because look at all these awesome opportunities I've received since signing up:

Job opportunity - collecting payments from 'associates' of a doctor:

Maybe I should recommend this to my boyfriend... when I have a boyfriend:

Apparently I have the qualifications to manage a trust fund for a dying woman and her deceased husband:

So, as you guys can all see, I'm not writing this blog which hardly anybody reads because I don't have anything else to do. In fact, I have several other opportunities. However, I chose writing over the millions of dollars I was sure to earn through those opportunities because I absolutely adore you readers. And I'd love you even more if you could subscribe to my blog or become a follower.

Oh, and I crossed out the names of my potential employers/associates because I don't want you guys stealing my jobs, just in case I change my mind!