How to and How Not to Pack

Information for lazy packers, like myself, or people who simply don’t have the time to pack their luggage (but have time to read blogs!).

It's time for me to leave home again soon, to start a brand new semester at Uni.

I tried to persuade my parents to let me stay at home - I begged, I pouted, I extorted, I stomped my feet, I tried out the psychological manipulation techniques freshly learnt from psych class... but all my parents did was shake their heads and grin at me.

"You'll enjoy it again in no time," they told me.

To make things worse, I'm gonna have to pack again! Unfortunately, as always, I left packing till the last minute... but since I hate packing so much, I decided to come online and write a blog post instead - about packing!

And so viola - here's my guide to packing for the moderately insane like myself.

1. Don’t pack your mobile phone and forget your battery recharger. If you do, your phone won’t be much use after a couple of days, unless it’s one of those high-tech solar charging ones.

2. If leaving for overseas, don’t bring a mobile phone that doesn’t have Roaming (ability to make calls in any country). Otherwise, it won’t be much use, unless you brought it along to be your lucky talisman.

3. Don’t pack your passport in a bag that you don’t personally carry. By “personally carry”, I mean that your passport containing bag has to be on you at all times. Yes, even when you are in the toilet. Afterall, you don't want people to steal your identity and do crazy things while pretending to be you.

4. If your luggage is in danger of being “overweight”, don’t pack anything that’s useless, like blank notebooks to scribble in or that Twilight novel you've read 20 times already. Did I just hear complaints? Well, at least I didn't say to put your luggage on a diet & exercise regime... which is guaranteed to work, except it might take a few months.

5. Pack early. Otherwise you’ll be buzzing around trying to find your favorite pair of jeans which seems to have “disappeared”. Oh, and you are assured that packing the day before your trip will result in an empty luggage and a mad luggage-holder. (Now, if only I listened to my own advice!)

6. Don’t count the number of books/CDs/etc that you bring to make sure that it doesn’t amount to thirteen. Packing isn’t the time for being superstitious.

7. Don’t waste time writing blogs like this one. There’ll be plenty of time for that when you get to your destination. 

Well, if you follow those seven commandments above, you should be fine for packing. If you don’t, I’m sure you’ll be fine too, as long as you keep a level head and don’t stress too much. If you are one of those lucky people with a robotic luggage packer or equivalent (i.e. if someone else helps you pack your luggage), don’t forget to thank whomever it is with a hug and a kiss.

'Amazing' opportunities in my spam box

For those of you who don't sign up for everything on the internet, you probably don't get very many emails telling you about AMAZING business opportunities and that you absolutely have to buy this awesome product. But unfortunately, I'm one of those people who sign up for random things on the internet, such as those websites that promise that they'd never sell or distribute your email address.

And I have to tell you - if you don't sign up for those absolutely awesome sites, then you're missing out! Because look at all these awesome opportunities I've received since signing up:

Job opportunity - collecting payments from 'associates' of a doctor:

Maybe I should recommend this to my boyfriend... when I have a boyfriend:

Apparently I have the qualifications to manage a trust fund for a dying woman and her deceased husband:

So, as you guys can all see, I'm not writing this blog which hardly anybody reads because I don't have anything else to do. In fact, I have several other opportunities. However, I chose writing over the millions of dollars I was sure to earn through those opportunities because I absolutely adore you readers. And I'd love you even more if you could subscribe to my blog or become a follower.

Oh, and I crossed out the names of my potential employers/associates because I don't want you guys stealing my jobs, just in case I change my mind!

The key to happiness: Satisfaction

I was talking to a friend whom I haven't been in touch with for a while today and found out that she was going to attend an Ivy League university in September. So of course, I congratulated her and told her that I was proud of her - and I was. Even during that short time when we attended the same primary school, I knew that she was an exceptional girl and would go far... and she did.

But I couldn't help feeling a teeny bit jealous. I mean - I'm at a good university, studying something that I'm passionate about (hopefully...) and having an awesome time. So why the hell was I jealous?

To help you better understand my psyche, I'll give you a little bit more background to the story. Our primary school was a fairly competitive one and at the end of every year, the best student of each class was invited to the annual prizegiving. And every year, it was either her or me. So I guess back then, I always compared myself to her. I didn't see my results in terms of 'good results' or 'bad results' - but rather in terms of 'better than X' or 'worse than X'. Oh, did I mention that we were best friends, on top of that? But anyways - long story cut short: her family eventually moved to America, and we eventually drifted out of touch, until today.


Flashback: 7 years ago

Back then, when she'd get 1st place and I'd get 2nd, I'd sulk. Now, I realized, I was falling back into my old habit of sulking again.

That's when it struck me - I was never going to be happy if I wasn't satisfied with the way my life is. I'd always be comparing myself to others - now, I might be envious that she's going to an Ivy League college. Later on in life, I might envy my peers' lifestyle, their possessions, their happiness...

And as long as I kept on thinking along these lines, I was never going to be satisfied with my own life - and I was never going to be happy.

As the saying goes - the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. None of our lives are perfect, but mine is pretty damned good - I don't have to worry about where my next meal was gonna come from, I have a loving family & supportive friends and I have all the intellectual stimulation I can ever need at my current university.

All I wish now is that I actually meant my congradulations when I said it... that'll keep me guilty for the rest of eternity! Okay, I exaggerate... but seriously, a tinge of guilt combined with self pity isn't really the happiness cocktail we all wish we knew how to make.

Aside: She draws way better than I do too!!! Must she be blessed with everything!?

Best Youtube parodies - the best music on Youtube

There are enough sites recommending the hottest pop songs to listen to, so I'm not going to compile another list. We're familiar with popular music, sang by pop stars with familiar names, who ride in limos and wear million dollar outfits. Yet somehow, advertisers still manage to convince us that these pop stars have something in common with the rest of us, who don't have millions in our bank accounts and flawless bodies to boot. And so I reckon it's about time we exposed ourselves to music by ordinary people, for ordinary people.

It's still the same popular tunes you're familiar with, but with alternative viewpoints and storylines. Be ready to hear weird and wacky derivatives of your favourite songs.

1. You belong with me (Taylor Swift)
Parody by VenetianPrincess

In You belong with me, the nerdy & unpopular girl undergoes a ugly duckling to swan transformation at her school dance, where she walks in wearing a beautiful white dress, causing her crush to finally realize how beautiful she was all along.

Well, in this parody, our heroine similarly gets a beauty makeover. Except with one twist - she's a zombie. And her crush is too busy running away and hiding in the boy's bathroom to notice her inner beauty. Luckily, her dentist obviously has ways of changing her razor sharp teeth to normal looking ones, and after that transformation, her crush finally smiles at her instead of running away.

But there is a final twist - you'll have to watch it to fnd out. I guess it shows that no matter how much we try to change ourselves with the help of dentists and plastic surgeons, we still can't change who we are.

2. Your Love Is My Drug - Ke$ha
    Parody by 3shadeProductions
Instead of singing about being addicted to love like a drug (as Ke$ha did), this parody ditches the simile and is about being addicted to drugs. Instead of "your love is my drug", we've got "your drugs are my love".

3. Baby - Justin Bieber
Parody by davedays ft. Tay Zonday
To declare, at a tender age of 13, that you will never ever ever be apart from the love of your life is a little... intense. Apparently davedays thinks so too, and he shows us just how hilarious it is to propose to the love of your life and even think about names for your future children... when you can't even get your drivers license because you ain't old enough.

4. 7 Things - Miley Cyrus
Parody by davedays
The original 7 things is your typical love song. The parody is not. This is another absolutely hilarious parody by davedays that you gotta watch.



5. Rude boy - Rihanna
Parody by CollegeHumour
Since half of Rude Boy is a mantra of "Come here rude boy, boy, can you get it up?", it's only natural that the Rude Boy might be a little nervous about all that is expected of him. And so here is the Rude Boy's response.

6. Telephone - Lady Gaga
 Parody by barelypolitical
Well, I guess stars do get special treatment in prison. How else would Lady Gaga have gotten all her bizzare costumes (including matching glittering bras and panties with all the other inmates)?

I'm not surprised that Beyonce (in the parody) had to be forced into filming the wacky music video for Telephone - where they poisoned everyone, including a cute dog.

2 proposals

Well, this is taking infidelity to an extreme... I think if a guy really wanted to have two girlfriends at once, I doubt he'd be proposing to both of them.

Why Cinderella ran away from Prince Charming

For a very long time, I've wondered why Prince Charming was so appealing to young girls, each of them all wishing they were poor enough to be Cinderella. Could it be the money? Or the ethereal good looks?

But I think the story of Cinderella and her Prince Charming is getting a little old... it needs a little something to spice it up. And what better to spice up romance than a lover's quarrel?

And so here it is: Why dear little Cindy ran away from her Prince Charming.

Horrorscopes (not meant to be taken seriously)

Horoscopes aren't meant to be taken seriously (at least, in my humble opinion... of course, I have friends who would beg to differ.) They usually tell us exactly what we want to hear, imparting to us a little bit of wisdom like - don't spend too much, be optimistic, be ready to fall in love, etc!

Let me present to you the alternative of horoscopes - Horrorscopes.

Try not to take it too seriously. Enjoy.

Aries (Mar 21-Apr19)
Today, your pigheadedness (or should I said, ram-headedness) will land you in terrible trouble. Try not to punch the policemen while they take you away for questioning and try not to yell at them either. If you behave politely, they'll think you're more sincere, even if you're not. Try to resolve your problem today, or you will end up in worse trouble.

Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
Today you will meet someone who will become obsessively in love with you. You will feel pressured into responding to this emotion in some way. Whatever you do, treat this situation with caution. Donot toy with the emotions of someone you're not interested in.

Gemini (May 21 - Jun 20)
Today your other half will break up with you, telling you it's because of your fickleness. Don't try to change the topic - because then he/she will accuse you of having a short attention span too.


Cancer (Jun 21 - Jul 22)
Today you will feel particularly insecure and as a result you'll try to become more altruistic. You will also become highly emotional, so talking to a Capricorn might cheer you up.
 
Leo (Jul 23 - Aug 22)
For once, your charm isn't quite working for you. People aren't paying you as much attention as you would like and you're upset. For once stop being so self centered and try to feel for others around you.
 
Virgo (Aug 23 - Sep 22)
You're always worried about work. About your loved ones. About everything else. You might have an anxiety disorder. You should consult with the doctor ASAP.
 
Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
Yup we know you've carried a grudge against someone for years now. And unfortunately, that person will come back into your life with a very signifcant role. Maybe it's time to make amends?
 
Scorpio (Oct 23 - Nov 21)
Are you jealous of someone? Perhaps its time to admit that you're jealous, to yourself at least. Afterall, you can't be the best at everything.
 
Sagittarius (Nov 22 - Dec 21)
Have you made a promise that you really can't keep? Well, maybe it's a good idea to tell the person you promised that you really can't do what you said you would... and keep your fingers crossed. 
 
Capricorn (Dec 22 - Jan 19)
A highly emotional Cancer will try to talk to you today. Whatever happens, don't talk to him/her.
 
Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 18)
Everyone thinks you're temperamental, so change.
 
Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)
You're desire to escape reality has consumed you over the past few months. You must do something to change before it's too late.

Your untypical girlog

You know those girlzines that tell you how to survive breakups and how to decode a guy by his bedroom? Yup, the very same ones with smiling girls next to sob stories of how they were bullied in high school to make us ordinary people feel better? As if to further insult our intelligence, they even have step by step guides as to how to kiss properly. No longer existent are the spontaneous magical kisses of fairytales, which can turn frogs into princes - instead, kissing, like everything else, becomes a technique that can be perfected.

Once we graduate to magazines for full grown women, apparently our thought capacity decreases even more. Now, all we think about is apparently sex and fashion (which is somewhat related to sex; why else would we pretty ourselves up?)

Anyways, this blog is like a girlzine, minus the assumption that all we ever think about are our petty relationship troubles, what to wear to the ball and how to do our makeup perfectly. Think of it as an alternative girlzine for those of us who like to think about more than just sex and fashion, if you like. Till later - Ta!